Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
