arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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