I hope mine doesn't look like that
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
