The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
