we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
