so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
