C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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