Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
