I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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