clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
