I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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