I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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