Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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