i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
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Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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