there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
