I hate all girls vehemently.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.