A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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