oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
