your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
