Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
