Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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