I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
