Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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