Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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