Sponge bath it is.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
