Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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