I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize