i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
