I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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