Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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