I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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