found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the knife in your bed.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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