Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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