HIV tests are more positive than that guy
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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