I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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