Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
