you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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