the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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