Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
