how do flat chested girls get laid?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She bit a glass in half.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize