My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize