Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
