We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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