Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
