oh god the rape fog is back!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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