My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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