never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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