I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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