It's a beautiful day for a hangover
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
