when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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