You just made me feel so damn special
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
