Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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