he puts the penis in happiness.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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