I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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