Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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