There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
