I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
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He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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