FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
