Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
